A couple of years ago I took a writing class. Just now I went through some of my old notes and found the following brief exercise. I read it again and remembered how the final comment cracked me up back then. I still think it’s too funny how the peer reviews “climax” in #5, LOL.
Thought I share this with you. Hope you enjoy it.
HOMEWORK:
Choose two of the sentences listed below to expand by adding logical additional parts of speech (nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositional phrases). Your sentence should be a minimum of 12 unique words.
• The children play.
• The woman walks.
• The sharks swim.
• The flowers bloom.
• The wind blows.
• The computer hums.
I WROTE:
While the computer hums incessantly the woman wearily takes off her yellow shoes and stares with tired eyes beyond the green shimmering fields that glow in the morning sun outside the open window.
Finally the woman sighs and walks quietly away from the window towards the dark kitchen, turns on the dim ceiling light, opens the refrigerator, and takes out not only a cold beer but also a plate with sandwiches that her husband had prepared so lovingly the night before.
PEER REVIEWS:
peer 1 → You did an awesome job! Pictures are developing in my mind, while I am reading your sentences. It seems, you took lots of effort and fantasy to create them. Good luck for the rest of the course!
peer 2 → Interesting elaboration based on the three words given. Beautifully phrased.
peer 3 → Nice continuation of the sentences meet elements of speech interesting descriptors from computer to fields
peer 4 → Wow, your sentences provide a vivid image of the seen.
peer 5 → Seems like there should be a comma after incessantly.
Discover & Create 